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Favorite Magic: the Gathering Card Flavor Text

Magic’s flavor text is some of the best writing in games. These are my favorites, grouped by how much context they need to land.

Best Overall

These passages are self-contained and very well written. While the context of Magic’s world or the card art might alter the meaning of the text, they can be enjoyed fully without understanding the references.

Archangel of Thune art

Even the wicked have nightmares.

Archangel of Thune

Death's Shadow art

The shadow of the candle looms tall even as its light grows dim.

Death's Shadow

Gilded Lotus art

Over such beauty, wars are fought. With such power, wars are won.

Gilded Lotus

Final Judgment art

"The clashing warriors turned to face O-Kagachi, the greatest kami, and their sigh of awe was their last breath."
Great Battles of Kamigawa

Final Judgment

Alloy Myr art

With or without witnesses, the suns continued their prismatic dance.

Alloy Myr

Mox Opal art

The suns of Mirrodin have shone upon perfection only once.

Mox Opal

Phyrexian Hulk art

It doesn't think. It doesn't feel.
It doesn't laugh or cry.
All it does from dusk till dawn
Is make the soldiers die.
—Onean children's rhyme

Phyrexian Hulk

Near-Death Experience art

Lands ravaged, cities in ruins, so many lives sacrificed, and yet there was no other word for it but victory.

Near-Death Experience

Blazing Archon art

"Through the haze of battle I saw the glint of sun on golden mane, the sheen of glory clad in mail, and I dropped my sword and wept at the idiocy of war."
—Dravin, Gruul deserter

Blazing Archon

Squandered Resources art

"He traded sand for skins, skins for gold, gold for life. In the end, he traded life for sand."
—Afari, Tales

Squandered Resources

Nova Cleric art

"Our noblest thoughts are our very first and our very last."

Nova Cleric

Selfless Savior art

She raised him from an orphaned pup and gave him a life of love. With his last act, he thanked her.

Selfless Savior

Zombify art

"The first birth celebrates life. The second birth mocks it."
—Mystic elder

Zombify

Duskmantle, House of Shadow art

In a space where there is no room, in a structure that was never built, meets the guild that doesn't exist.

Duskmantle, House of Shadow

Last Word art

"Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you."

Last Word

Blood of the Martyr art

The willow knows what the storm does not: that the power to endure harm outlives the power to inflict it.

Blood of the Martyr

Dark Ritual art

"Eye of twilight, give us sight.
Take our offer, give us might.
Make our power tears of night."

Dark Ritual

Rancor art

Hatred outlives the hateful.

Rancor

Fractured Sanity art

The body grows stronger under stress. The mind does not.

Fractured Sanity

Hovermyr art

Originally created to harvest blinkmoths, the hovermyr are now the silent observers of a dying world.

Hovermyr

Monastery Mentor art

"Speak little. Do much."

Monastery Mentor

Descent into Madness art

The stairs lead down in both directions.

Descent into Madness

Extinguish the Light art

Jaya did not want to die, but of all the things to die for, Dominaria felt right.

Extinguish the Light

Abyssal Horror art

"I dreamt of it once. Now I fear it dreams of me."
—Tolarian scholar

Abyssal Horror

Fraying Sanity art

Those wound tightest are first to unravel.

Fraying Sanity

Phyrexian Hulk art

An invasion weapon of ages past, the glistening oil contained the blueprints of countless atrocities.

Phyrexian Hulk

Royal Assassin art

An assassin is a king's most trusted courier, ensuring his messages are heard by even the most unwilling recipients.

Royal Assassin

Nemesis of Reason art

Words describing it fail. Pages relating it shrivel. Tales recounting it end.

Nemesis of Reason

Traumatize art

He was left with just enough memory to understand what he had lost.

Traumatize

Ripples of Undeath art

As the monster lay dying, it stared into the eyes of the human who slew it. Decades later, it has yet to break its gaze.

Ripples of Undeath

Best Flavor

This kind of flavor text is also great, but requires the context of the card title, art, effect, or Magic’s worldbuilding.

Phyrexian Rebirth art

As long as one drop of the oil exists, the joyous work continues.

Phyrexian Rebirth

Killing Wave art

"I come looking for demons and I find a plane full of angels. I hate angels."
—Liliana Vess

Killing Wave

Feldon of the Third Path art

"She will come back to me."

Feldon of the Third Path

Hand of Emrakul art

"I believed in a beautiful god. But this is the true face of the divine."
—Ayli, Kamsa cleric

Hand of Emrakul

Wandering Ones art

"I saw them once, when I was a child. They led me to my parents' arms when I was lost. Why have they abandoned me now? Why won't they take me home again?"
—Unnamed beggar

Wandering Ones

Best Jokes

Goblin Offensive art

They certainly are.

Goblin Offensive

Goblin Balloon Brigade art

They patched the holes, loaded their sharpest rocks, spanked their children one last time, and lurched off into the sunset.

Goblin Balloon Brigade

Ancient Grudge art

Shelby locked eyes with the ferocious creature as the glass began to crack. With one more lunge, she would break through and confront her nemesis at last.

Ancient Grudge

Battle of Wits art

The wizard who reads a thousand books is powerful. The wizard who memorizes a thousand books is insane.

Battle of Wits

Card art and data courtesy of Scryfall. Magic: the Gathering is © Wizards of the Coast.

This post is licensed under CC BY 4.0 by the author.